The Coaching Habit – by Michael Bungay Stanier
Recommendation: 7/10. Date read: 1/30/21.
This is a quick read focused on coaching others to unlock their potential. Stanier details seven core questions that are critical to successful coaching and guides readers through best practices for asking better questions. He also emphasizes how effective coaching can break the three vicious circles of creating overdependence, getting overwhelmed, and becoming disconnected. I would have preferred this to be an essay with the core concepts outlined above, rather than a book. But it’s short and well worth the read for those who want to become better leaders.
See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.
My Notes:
Coaching:
Coaching = helping others and unlocking their potential.
Three vicious circles:
Coaching helps break three vicious circles: creating overdependence, getting overwhelmed, and becoming disconnected.
Creating overdependence: steal learning moments from the team, people become excessively reliant on you.
Getting overwhelmed: taking on more than you can handle and executing at a fraction of your ability because you’re spread too thin.
Becoming disconnected: getting disconnected from work that’s meaningful to you where you can have the most impact.
Best practices for asking questions:
“What people think of as the moment of discovery is really the discovery of the question.” Jonas Salk
Ask one question at a time then shut up. Never ramble off multiple questions at once.
Stop trying to setup questions and provide backstory. Just ask it.
Uses what questions instead of why. Rather than “why did you do that?” instead ask “What made you choose this course of action?”
When you receive an email that triggers the advice monster, instead of writing a long answer full of solutions, decide which of the most seven questions below would be most appropriate and ask that question by email. e.g. “Before I jump into a longer reply, let me ask you: what’s the real challenge here for you?”
Questions for successful coaching:
1) What’s on your mind
2) And what else?
3) What’s the real challenge here for you?
4) What do you want?
5) How can I help?
6) If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
7) What was most useful for you? (spaced repetition)
Before saying yes, ask more questions:
Why are you asking me?
Who else have you asked?
When you say this is urgent, what do you mean?
According to what standard does this need to be completed? By when?
If I couldn’t do all of this, but could just do a part, what part would you have me do?
What do you want me to take off my plate so I can do this?