How to Live: 27 conflicting answers and one weird conclusion by Derek Sivers
Date read: 5/3/24. Recommendation: 9/10.

True to form, Derek Sivers offers a succinct, thought-provoking read that examines conflicting philosophies. The book considers independence AND commitment, orienting yourself toward the future AND placing greater value on what has endured, focusing on the immediate seconds in front of you AND thinking super-long-term. In the end, living well is about balance and holding competing ideas in mind.

Check out my notes below or Derek’s website to see top highlights and grab your copy.

My Notes:

Self-sufficiency:
“Whoever you blame has power over you, so blame only yourself.”

“You can’t be free without self-mastery.”

“If you are proud of what you made, it was a success.”

Commitment:
“You can stop seeking the best option. Pick one and irreversibly commit.” 

“When you can’t change your situation, you change your attitude towards it.”

“Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.”

Trust:
“Trust helps your happiness more than income or health.”

“Be absolutely honest with everyone. Stop lying, completely. You lie when you’re afraid. You live to avoid consequences. Always say the truth. Take the painful consequences.” 

Stillness:
“In your most peaceful moments, your mind is quiet. You’re not thinking you should be doing anything else.”

“There’s no deeper happiness than wanting nothing.”

Perspective:
Loosen the grip your current concerns have over you: “A year from now, will it be important? Ten years from now? Zoom out as far as you need to make it unimportant. Then you’re free of it.”

Challenge:
“Striving makes you happy. Pursuit is the opposite of depression.” 

“Everything good comes from some kind of pain. Muscle fatigue makes you healthy and strong. The pain of practice leads to mastery. Difficult conversations save your relationships.” 

“Wealth brings the pain of responsibility. Fame brings the pain of expectations. Love brings the pain of attachment. If you avoid pain, you avoid what you really want.” 

Seek discomfort: “The softer the chair, the harder it is to get out of it.”

Communication:
“To communicate clearly, you have to think clearly. Writing is refined thinking.”

“Small talk is just a way of matching the other person’s tone and mood. It helps them be comfortable with you.”

“Whenever you’re thinking something nice about someone, tell them.”

Fulfillment:
“Shallow happy is what you want now. Deep happy is what you want most.”

“Shallow happy is trying to conquer the world. Deep happy is conquering yourself.”

Momentum:
“Don’t be the dragon in the mountain, just sitting on your gold. Don’t lose momentum in life. Once you’ve done it, take it with you and do something else.”

“Jump into action without hesitation or worry. You’ll be faster and do more than everyone else. What takes them a month will take you an hour, so you can do it ten times a day.” 

Create:
“The way to live is to create. Die empty. Get every idea out of your head and into reality.”

“Most people die with everything still inside of them.”

“Which would you rather be? Someone who hasn’t created anything in years because you’re so busy consuming? Or someone who hasn’t consumed anything in years because you’re so busy creating?”

“Originality just means hiding your sources.”

Moderation:
“Balancing everything is how to live.”