The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Date read: 8/2/23. Recommendation: 9/10.

Whereas Robert Greene’s niche is human nature and power dynamics, Brené Brown’s is vulnerability and shame. In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brown advocates for wholehearted living built upon authenticity, worthiness, and the realization that your story matters because you matter. Brown focuses on a familiar problem—what she refers to as a “midlife unraveling,” where the universe challenges you to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and embrace who you are. Brown relies on her background as a researcher and pulls from personal stories to land her message of developing our capacity for courage, compassion, and connection.

Check out my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Embracing your story:
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.” Brené Brown

“She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful.” Terri St. Cloud

Reckoning:
Midlife unraveling = challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and embrace who you are.

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s out of fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.” Brené Brown

Wholehearted living:
Engaging with life from a place of worthiness.

“It’s; so much easier to say, ‘I’ll be whoever or whatever you need me to be, as long as I feel like I’m part of this.’ From group-thinking to gossiping, we’ll do what it takes to fit in if we believe it will meet our need for belonging. But it doesn’t. We can only belong when we offer our most authentic selves and when we’re embraced for who we are.” Brené Brown

Authenticity:
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” Brené Brown

“Authenticity demands wholehearted living and loving…it’s how we invite grace, gratitude, and joy into our lives.” Brené Brown

“To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody but yourself—means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight—and never stop fighting.” E.E. Cummings

“When we value being cool and in control over granting ourselves the freedom to unleash the passionate, goofy, heartfelt, and soulful expressions of who we are, we betray ourselves.” Brené Brown

Perfectionism:
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Anna Quindlen

“Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame…It’s stopping us from being seen.” Brené Brown

“Healthy striving is self-focused—How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused—What will they think?” Brené Brown

Creativity:
“When I make creating a priority, everything in my life works better.” Brené Brown

Early inclinations:
“What one loves in childhood stays in the heart forever.” Mary Jo Putney